Sex, Love & Time apart


“Someday someone wont be afraid of how much you love. They wont stay on the shore; they’ll meet you in the depths.” Buddha


Hi you amazing peeps,

This topic is still pretty taboo among a lot of people but I’m going to delve in anyway.  It’s about SEX and how time apart has changed things for us.

Our sexual life, even with all these kids has been great..  But as Hubby has been away, things have changed for both of us. This turns out to be a very good thing but as for the sex itself – it’s been A-MA-ZING!

The definition of GREAT SEX is different for everyone but for me  it’s having the person that I adore, wrapped in a naked swirling embrace of passion with no thought of anything else. It’s the anticipation and excitement, the touch and the pleasure, the sweat, the noise and the uncontrolled, rhythmic movement.  It’s the intense buildup and then the magical release, where pure ecstasy exists and all the world fades away and I’m sure, for that period of time that I am weightless, like a flower floating gently on the breeze.

This is followed by the intense feeling of relaxation, satisfaction and Love radiating from every part of my body. And as everything around me returns to this realm, I notice that everything seems more peaceful, everyone is happier and somehow the world has more colour.

So why do I think this is happening? It’s the anticipation.

He flies home every few weeks to, as he puts it, ‘feel human again‘. I had never gone that long without sex, not even after having children. We had sex almost on a daily basis – it just become part of the routine.  It wasn’t bad it was just repetitive – no real anticipation.

After the first weeks of him being away, I was really nervous about seeing him again . I had all these worries run through my head, like what will he think of me?  Am I sexy enough?  Will the sex be good, what if I’ve forgotten how to please him? I had butterflies in my stomach before he landed.  It was like we were dating again.  As he walked in the terminal, I blushed and on the way home, I barely spoke – which is not normal for me. I was seriously nervous. It turned out to be great though.

Now he’s just left after his second trip back but this time was different.  We were both just ready to tear each others clothes off the moment we saw each other, no real nerves just desire – which is pretty much exactly what happened. The difference this time – the sex was INSANE!

Why? Because there was so much anticipation and teasing before the day.  You see he was meant to come home a week before he did but got his dates wrong.  We didn’t know this at the time and the teasing started the night before he thought he was coming home.  Turned out to be a week to early – so the whole week was full of anticipation. It was torture but turned out for the best.

Now I’m not saying that he needs to go away for us to have great sex, it was the mental anticipation that made it so great. The connection or entanglement if you will, was so much more; I felt as though I had fallen so much more in Love. The effects were very tangible.

So in my typical style – I researched sex.  A new statement for me.

It turns out a Canadian research company found that not only is sex good for your stress, it is great exercise even burning up to 200 calories per session.  The University of Maryland found that it created new brain cells in the hippocampus – the emotion and memory center of the brain. Other research suggests that it could reduce men’s risk of prostate cancer and doctors in the UK are advising women with depression to have more sex because its effect on the chemicals within the brain.

But it’s anticipation that women need.  Research suggests that women respond really well to sex if there is teasing and tormenting hours or even days before the sexual encounter

Research has also found that having sex with someone that you Love leads to a feeling of well being.

More research showed that Dopamine, the feel good hormone, leads to a feeling of intoxication for your desired person, lust is due to a huge surge of Testosterone and touch triggers Oxytocin known as the ‘cuddle hormone’, the same hormone that bonds mother and baby. All these things have huge benefits for the mind and body.

Personally I don’t really care what hormones go into it just that I get lost in it.  It is just now I know how to have Great Sex even when his not away – ANTICIPATION!


So maybe all the world needs is to have Brilliant Sex.


Have a absolutely amazing, relaxing, colourful weekend all.


C.Z. Schofield is a Best Selling Author, a World Traveling Sailor, a Spectacular Wife, an Awesome Mum to the 10 Happiest children on the planet, a Millionaire and a Polyglot.



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