These preparations for our Round the World Trip has been going well and totally exciting – for me. I discovered this morning that Conan doesn’t feel the same as I do. He is really feeling pressured!
This is the point where I am suppose to say ‘that that was not my intention at all’ but that would be a bold faced lie. I thought that maybe a little pressure may have been a good thing, a way to get things moving, to start to feel the REAL excitement of being free. BUT I never intended to put too much pressure, I never intended to not think about his goals and his ambitions in life. I know he has his desires for his life and what he wants to do and not only would it be wrong of me to not think of those but it would be heartless too. We are a very happily married couple and he does feel like part of me, like the two of us are really just one person – but he doesn’t think or feel as I do about certain things, he has his own life, his own to-do list – it’s not just me.
Conan is going to University Degree at the moment and the major that he is studying cannot be done via distance and this is something he is loving. Who am I to take him away from his desire? He has brought up the possibility of studying abroad so we can have our trip, which would be awesome for me as well as let him continue to do what he loves. The fact that he has even mentioned it, is a huge deal for him. He never would have done this even 12 months ago and now he is open to do this.
I have to remember that this journey is just not about me and the kids and our desires for life, that there is another party in this as well and that I must take that into account.
I will continue to prepare in anticipation but I will stop pushing, stop mentioning it and I will stop stressing over it. We have put our desires out there, I just need to sit back and let them happen, it will all happen but not if I stress.
The happiness of our family is the most important thing and together we will make this happen – as a team. My patience and understanding will be the best thing for our family and will make us happier overall.
On a side note, I have started some buddist meditation – I am not buddist at all but I am enjoying the meditation, the peace it brings, the stillness in my mind. It is said that the buddist are able to materialize anything because they understand the energy around them, they understand that they create their own reality and that they can create their own desires. I have this too this control of things around me and I want to be able to intensify this. Please try too and let my know how you go.
Thank you and you will all have THE GREATEST DAY…..EVER!